#1 humor site on the 'net

Apple Car

In-cider trading in the Ukraine

Apple Car thanks to Bob Tasse

Let's have some apple-ause for this Ukrainian food distributor!

QuotaBills
Fjord: Norwegian car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Calling In Sick - Snow Job for the Boss

Look At It This Way

Camouflaged Owls

Snow Geese

Quantum Physiques

Typewriter Parts

Irish Flu Shots

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Winter Blues

Pink Freud

Geriatric Flight

Chili Rub

Safety Pin Face

New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver