An Evening Prayer

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. - Thomas Edison

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be. - Unknown

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Tarry a moment to watch the chaos of a playground, crayola-colored shirts of running children, all trying out their wings. - Dr. SunWolf

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller