QuotaBillsKhaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso
It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh
I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face. - Harry Hill
I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers
Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
When you know you're right, you don't care what others think. You know sooner or later it will come out in the wash. - Barbara McClintock
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
The secret of success is to be in harmony with existence, to be always calm to let each wave of life wash us a little farther up the shore. - Cyril Connolly
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com