Woman's Odometer

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse. - Laurence Sterne

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. - George Bernard Shaw

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson