Woman's Odometer

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. - William Shakespeare

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. - Noel Coward

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson