#1 humor site on the 'net

When You're Stupid You Gotta Be Tough

Built Ford Tough in Fairbanks

When You're Stupid You Gotta Be Tough thanks to Bob Carroll

QuotaBills
There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Fishing Gear Vendors: Reel estate agents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Habitat: Place where a particular species of fish was last week - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings. - Kurt Cobain

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Fisherman: A sportsman, who sometimes catches a big fish by patience, sometimes by luck, but most often by the tale - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon