#1 humor site on the 'net

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Have you seen a woman yesterday reading today's paper?

Today's Paper Read Yesterday thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Camouflage: Wise guise. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Imagination rules the world. - Napoleon

Worry is simply imagination gone awry. - Peter Alwinson

A strong imagination begetteth opportunity. - Michel de Montaigne

If you fell down yesterday, stand up today. - H G Wells

Never let yesterday use up too much of today. - Cherokee Proverb

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Live out of your imagination, not your history. - Stephen Covey

My single-minded aim is to give existence to fantasy. - Claes Oldenburg

An Irishman's heart is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination. - George Bernard Shaw

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. - Voltaire

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Our achievements today are but the sum total of our thoughts of yesterday. - Blaise Pascal

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. - Charles M. Schulz

Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy. - Walt Disney

He who was honoured yesterday, and stops practicing today, will lose tomorrow. - Unknown

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. - Albert Einstein

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. - Garrison Keillor

Yesterday is a cancelled check. Today is cash on the line. Tomorrow is a promissory note. - Hank Stram

Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is ready cash - use it. - Kay Lyons

Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination. - Christopher Isherwood

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. - Rumi

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present. - Bil Keane

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. - Stephen Helmes

If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. - Mark Twain

Fatalism is the creed of a will that is dying to its possibilities and seeks to drag the imagination with it. - Ravi Zacharias

The public has an appetite for anything about imagination: anything that is far away from reality as is creatively possible. - Steven Spielberg

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are. - Samuel Johnson

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Fantasy has a dark side to it. It also has a light hemisphere - the power of the human imagination to keep going, to imagine a better tomorrow. - Tim O'Brien


Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day

Peddle Sewing Machine Sink

You Never Call

Dawntastic

Work Rules

Navy Golf Course for Aircraft Carriers

Less Severe Inflation

Hotel Annex

King Stump

Diet Carbs

Home Made Limo

Cool Reading Room

Biggest Fan On The Block

Vintage Birth Control

Close Shave

Australian RV

Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation