#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Limo

Down South Deluxe Transportation

Texas Limo thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Midnight bugs taste best. - Unknown

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey


Bulge That All Women Love

Hand Drawn

Learn To Fly

Rosella Ring

Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm

Dementia Relations

Church Karma

The End in Canada

Sign Slippage

Obedient Wives

Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Blinker Fluid

Dutch Rollerblades

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining

Wet Floor Caution