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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

He who will always be his own lawyer will often have a fool for a client. - J Hunter

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

The four absolutes we all have in our minds: love, justice, evil, and forgiveness. - Ravi Zacharias

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Honest and peace-loving people shun the Courts and are prepared to suffer loss rather than fall into a Lawyer's clutches. - Peter De Noronha

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

The great trial lawyers are the ones who help their jurors by providing them with the tools with which to reach the right verdict. - G Christopher Ritter

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

Lawyers have the singular distinction of being able to play the hero and villain at the same time. Depending on where you stand in a courthouse. - Lenox Mhlanga


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