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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Incongruous: Where our laws are made and how they appear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

I can have peace of mind only when I forgive rather than judge. - Gerald Jampolsky

You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman

Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law. - Sophocles

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

This hour we are stretching forth our hands with the desire to teach the world the true principles of mercy and justice. - Marcus Garvey

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Men became scientific because they expected law in nature and they expected law in nature because they believed in a lawgiver. - Ravi Zacharias

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Strapless Gown: 1. When a woman won't shoulder the responsibility; 2. A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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