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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham

You cannot live without lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

The four absolutes we all have in our minds: love, justice, evil, and forgiveness. - Ravi Zacharias

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

Zymurgy’s Law of Volunteer Labour: People are always available for work in the past tense - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


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