Speaking in Tongues for Animals

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright