Senior's Golf Cart

Absentee: A missing golfing peg - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Good Sportsmanship: Not picking up lost golf balls while they are still rolling - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden