#1 humor site on the 'net

Senior's Golf Cart

You might want to look into purchasing one of these

Senior's Golf Cart thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

The biggest thing is just routine. I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players. - Stephen Curry

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


Idling Eric Idle

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast