Redneck's Favorite Bar Stool

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

University: 1. A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand; 2. A mental institution. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com