Potty Training An Elephant

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

When you have an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run. - Abraham Lincoln

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner