PeePeeing Tom

Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Use your enemy's hand to catch a snake. - Persian Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals. - Donna Maria G

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Edible: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle