#1 humor site on the 'net

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

This fire hazard requires extreme measures

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards thanks to Bill Wellbelove

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment

Snow Storage

Redneck Winter Spa

HoverCraft

Associate Demonstration

Stoned Longhorns

Wet Nose Fixer

Phones At Six

Is The Warming Still Global?

This Little Stool

Caught by a Speed Camera

Live Catfish Display