'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

Fires and grimstones of hell - Archie Bunker

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

I set myself on fire, and the people come to see me burn. - John Wesley

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" - George Carlin

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

The clearest way into the universe is through a forest wilderness. - John Muir

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. - Cher

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

We feel free when we escape - even when it be from the frying pan into the fire. - Eric Hoffer

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Arnold H Glasow

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Can we be casual in the work of God—casual when the house is on fire, and people in danger of being burned? - Duncan Campbell

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell