#1 humor site on the 'net

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards

This fire hazard requires extreme measures

'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards thanks to Bill Wellbelove

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Fires and grimstones of hell - Archie Bunker

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

Inspiration fires you up; motivation keeps you burning. - Stuart Aken

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. - Cher

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Hi, My Name's Cliff - Drop Over Some Time!

Sparks Recycling

Last Gasp Request

Flower Shop For Men

Canadian Archaeology

Tank Top Security

One Beer A Day

Tennis Hammock

Fare Dodger

Husband of the Year

Bolder Boulder

Shoe Stop

Exactly How I Feel

Circle Of Life

Outback Waterhole

Next Week Plans

Cycle Feeding Your Cows

The Fall Of Adam

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Boat Hurdles

Bread Slice

Steak Sale

Take Away Food

Creative Vandalism