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New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for 'Woman' element

New Element in the Periodic Table thanks to Kirk Lowry

Boils at room temperature and Freezes without any known reason

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS - ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.
 
QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

Wrong no man and write no woman. - Elbert Hubbard

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

Thinnest Book in the World: 'What Men Know About Women' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

If this world is going to be reached, I am convinced that it must be done by men and women of average talent. - Dwight L. Moody

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Except for a few guitar chords, everything I've learned in my life that is of any value I've learned from women. - Glenn Frey

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

If a woman says, 'Do what you want', do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don't even breathe. Just play dead. - Unknown

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo


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