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New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for 'Woman' element

New Element in the Periodic Table thanks to Kirk Lowry

Boils at room temperature and Freezes without any known reason

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS - ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.
 
QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. - Keanu Reeves

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself. - Mae West

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. - French Proverb

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

Nothing changes the gender equation more significantly than women's economic freedom. - Gloria Steinem

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorned. - William Congreve

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama


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