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The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. - Fred Allen

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

A lady of a 'certain age', which means Certainly aged. - Lord Byron

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


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