International Sign of Marriage

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash