#1 humor site on the 'net

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Good to know that English tourists are welcome around the world

Inglish Spikkers Welcom thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Ratify: To use a spell and turn a person into a rodent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech. - Clifton Fadiman

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends. - Alphonse de Lamartine

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Fashion is free speech, and one of the privileges, if not always one of the pleasures, of a free world. - Alison Lurie

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas


Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash

Treescape

Redneck Christmas Tree Transport

Three Cats Ago

That's Not A Knife

Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane