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Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

There are lessons to be learned from a stupid man. - Horace

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Take notes on the spot. A note is worth a cart-load of recollections. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

You'll never lighten the load until you feel the pressure in your own soul. - Ravi Zacharias

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

I don't weigh myself because most scales don't know how heavy all the grudges I'm holding onto are. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy