Home Depot Delivery

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Love is being stupid together. - Paul Valery

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light. - G K Chesterton

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

There are lessons to be learned from a stupid man. - Horace

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you. - Veronica Roth

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Take notes on the spot. A note is worth a cart-load of recollections. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

You'll never lighten the load until you feel the pressure in your own soul. - Ravi Zacharias

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. - Emma Watson

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com