Home Depot Delivery

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Facts are stupid things. - Ronald Reagan

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Though patrician, he was also stupid. - Greek Proverb

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light. - G K Chesterton

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

You'll never lighten the load until you feel the pressure in your own soul. - Ravi Zacharias

Don't feel stupid if you don't like what everyone else pretends to love. - Emma Watson

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. - Bill Cosby

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

If you think your boss is stupid remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter. - Albert Grant

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

A juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on. - Ronnie Corbett

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright