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Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffet

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy