Home Depot Delivery

Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. - John Wayne

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. - Bertrand Russell

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

It is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. - C JoyBell

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. - Sam Levenson

Human beings can always be relied upon to exert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Dean Koontz

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

I've always hated the idea of carrying grudges and resentments around like a load of mouldy suitcases. - Victoria C Mitchell

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

I don't weigh myself because most scales don't know how heavy all the grudges I'm holding onto are. - Unknown

The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his audience so they believe they are clever as he. - Karl Kraus

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

A juggernaut of onions has shed its load all over the M1. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on. - Ronnie Corbett

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy