Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney