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Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney


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