Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst