Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst