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Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Ultimate: The last person you marry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor


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