Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. - Richard Lewis

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw