Help Me Before It's Too Late!
Best Man's last prank on the Groom
QuotaBillsMarry money. - Max Shulman
Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber
I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx
Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying
There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown
Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats
I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex
The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton
Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp
Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters
A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison
I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta
Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles
I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry
Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. - Ilona Andrews
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher
First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby
Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack