Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Dull women have immaculate homes. - Unknown

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. - Sally Kempton

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

Frump: A woman who looks her age and doesn't try to overlook it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

My greatest regret is not knowing at 30 what I knew about women at 60. - Arthur Miller

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. - Erma Bombeck

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor

Glamour: The capacity of a woman to get more out of a dress than she puts into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If this world is going to be reached, I am convinced that it must be done by men and women of average talent. - Dwight L. Moody

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Men prefer brief praise, pitched high; women are satisfied with praise in a lower key, just so it goes on and on - Mignon McLaughlin

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie