Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Flirting is conversational chemistry. - Isaac Mizrahi

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Female Friends: Women mad at the same person - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Chaos: Three women discussing the two sides of an issue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Organ Recital: A group of women discussing their operations - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Masseuse: A woman who doesn't keep her hands to herself - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown

Anesthetic: The painkiller that crazy women refuse during labour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. - Christopher Morley

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

Sewing Circle: 1. Where friendship hangs by a thread; 2. A group of women who needle each other. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They'd make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. - Robin Williams