#1 humor site on the 'net

Going Nowhere Mall

Feel like a little traffic congestion?

Going Nowhere Mall thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

For Shoppers With LOTS of Time

QuotaBills
Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Impatience: Waiting in a hurry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. - French Proverb

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

Somewhere there is something incredible waiting to be known. - Carl Sagan

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

A person going nowhere can be sure of reaching his destination. - Unknown

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. - Malachy McCourt

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. - Fran Lebowitz

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell

While waiting for a Moses to lead us into the promised land, we have forgotten how to walk. - Wendell Johnson

Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting. - Joyce Meyer

You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So get on your way! - Dr. Seuss

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Plant your garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. - Jose L Borges

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

If you wait for perfect conditions to seize an opportunity, you'll be waiting till the day you die. - Mark Batterson

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

Stop waiting for the right person to come into your life. Be the right person to come into someone else's life. - Unknown

Most people stand on the dock of life waiting for their ship to come in when deep down inside they know it has never left port. - Zig Ziglar

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. - Dale Turner

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I would not sit waiting for some value tomorrow, nor for something to happen. One could wait a lifetime ... I would make something happen. - Louis L'Amour

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama

You have to strive every minute to get rid of the life that you have planned in order to have the life that's waiting to be yours. Move, move, move. - Joseph Campbell

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. - Steven Wright

Sometimes, even when I'm trying to keep the load light it just feels so heavy. Like the sky is a ton of bricks waiting to fall and anything I might do, think or feel could cause it to come crashing down. - Jane Devin

“So if you love him, why keep him waiting for 13 years?"
"Because I was afraid. Afraid of not being worthy, afraid of not knowing how to love him, afraid of waking up one day and not loving him anymore.” - Guillaume Musso


Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger

Construction Playground

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Spaghetti Tree

Take Away Van

Will To Live

Redneck Bra

Politician Plane

Millennial Jump Start

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Granny Smith Apple

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Spaghetti Digest