#1 humor site on the 'net

Gas Competitors Reach Agreement

More competition in the gas business is good for you - isn’t it?

Gas Competitors Reach Agreement thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Money doesn't talk, it swears. - Bob Dylan

He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Nobody ever lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

Money is a great servant, but a poor master. - Francis Bacon

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

I have no friends and no enemies - only competitors. - Aristotle Onassis

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

In any business, the number-one competitor is inertia. - Dave Chilton

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws. - Mayer A. Rothschild

Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch

We shouldn't spend money on things we don't need when others don't have the things they do. - Peter Singer

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

I don't make deals for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. - Donald Trump

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce


Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies