#1 humor site on the 'net

Female IT Experts

Female shoppers find new uses for computer CDs

Female IT Experts thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
Beauty is not caused. It is. - Emily Dickinson

In youth and beauty wisdom is rare. - Homer

Donation: A country full of female deer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Female Friends: Women mad at the same person - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Algebra: Undergarment worn by female math teachers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unexpected intrusions of beauty. That is what life is. - Saul Bellow

Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all? - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

Beauty in things lies in the mind which contemplates them. - David Hume

If you truly love nature, you will find beauty everywhere. - Laura I Wilder

Even when all the experts agree, they may well be mistaken. - Bertrand Russell

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. - Laurence J. Peter

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. - Nicholas M Butler

Perspective: Having customers who love you and a boss who hates you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty will result from the form and the correspondence of the whole. - Andrea Palladio

Time is a vindictive bandit to steal the beauty of our former selves. - Raphael

If the people you lead have lost their spark, try looking in the mirror. - Susan Fowler

In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders. - Sheryl Sandberg

True beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes. - Unknown

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer. - Joan Collins

The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely. - Louisa May Alcott

Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest. - Christian Dior

The beauty is that people often come here for the stretch, and leave with a lot more. - Liza Ciano

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty in every age of life really never grows old. - Franz Kafka

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out. - Jenn Proske

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. - Christopher D Morley

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

If you're searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. - Unknown

The ideals which have always shown before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty and truth. - Albert Einstein

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe

Attract what you expect,
Reflect what you desire,
Become what you respect,
Mirror what you admire. - Unknown

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities: a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity. - Howard Eves

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson


Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test