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Downtown Speeding

When not to speed with your dragster

Downtown Speeding thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Slow and steady wins the race. - Aesop

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

The human race is governed by its imagination. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

Once upon a time, forests were repositories of magic for the human race. - John Burnside

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The human race is inquisitive about other people's lives, but negligent to correct their own. - St Augustine

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

There are only 3 true sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and auto racing. All the rest are games. - Ernest Hemingway

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I've got something inside of me, peasantlike and stubborn, and I'm in it till the end of the race. - Truman Capote

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

In the marathon a crazy athlete can just keep pushing from the beginning; at a championship you don't need a time just to win the race. - Haile Gebrelassie

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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