Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Computer SuperUser - a.k.a. 'Root' Hacker
Source of 'Root of all Evil' or a laughing hacker?
A superuser is a user on the system who has control over all the settings, and files on the machine. Under UNIX this user is traditionally called root. If you have access to the superuser account on a machine, you shouldn't use it unless you absolutely need to. The power that comes with the superuser account can cause damage, as well as be used to maintain the system. Many people have destroyed work, or left a system unusable, by mistakenly issuing commands as root, when they believed that they were another user. To become the superuser on the machine, you use the su (switch user) command...
The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker
Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema
Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson
We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium
The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole
I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore
Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein
Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy
Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis
People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry
The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell
The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll
Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben
For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich
In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis
The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow
Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar
On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown
Start an editorial calendar that everyone involved in your blog can access. - Kristi Hines
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips
People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard
Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown
Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan
Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte
You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs
Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader
It's hard for me to imagine why a church that has younger members wouldn't have a blog component. - Mark Batterson
I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy
The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks
Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle
Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA
Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett
People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds
The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay
Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette
Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry
The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore
Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg
For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber
Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright
The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco
Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema
Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson
We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium
The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole
I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore
Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein
Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown
I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy
Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis
People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry
The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell
The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll
Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben
For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich
In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis
The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow
Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar
On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown
Start an editorial calendar that everyone involved in your blog can access. - Kristi Hines
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips
People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard
Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown
Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan
Feature Creep: 1. The bloating of software with too many features; 2. A nasty software developer. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte
You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs
Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader
It's hard for me to imagine why a church that has younger members wouldn't have a blog component. - Mark Batterson
I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy
The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks
Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle
Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA
Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett
People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds
The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates
The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay
Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick
My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette
Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry
The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore
Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg
For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber
Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright
The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco
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