#1 humor site on the 'net

Chiropractor Mailbox

Mailbox design of the year - this'll crack you up!

Chiropractor Mailbox thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Physician, heal thyself. - Luke 4:23

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

It is said to be the manner of hypochondriacs to change often their physician. - William Cullen

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Psychiatry is the art of teaching people how to stand on their own two feet while reclining on couches. - Sigmund Freud

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage. - William Stewart Halsted

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment

Snow Storage

Redneck Winter Spa

HoverCraft

Associate Demonstration

Stoned Longhorns

Wet Nose Fixer

Phones At Six