Burning The Midnight Oil With A Candlestick

Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Thank heavens it hath no smell. - George F. Handel

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. - Apocalypse Now

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Flour: A word by any other name would smell as wheat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

Initiative is to success what a lighted match is to a candle. - Orlando A Battista

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it. - Rudyard Kipling

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world. - William Shakespeare

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Buddha