#1 humor site on the 'net

BMW's New Half Car

Half-car running away from the competition

BMW's New Half Car thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
Loving is half of believing. - Victor Hugo

A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb

Half this game is ninety percent mental. - Yogi Berra

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true. - Yogi Berra

Friendship redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half. - Francis Bacon

Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half. - Bum Phillips

She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

Joy shared is twice the joy. Sorrow shared is half the sorrow. - Swedish Proverb

A person's character is but half formed till after wedlock. - Charles Simmons

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. - Yogi Berra

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

I wish I could be half as sure of anything as some people are of everything. - Gerald Barzan

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone. - Fred Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup. - Unknown

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. - Josh Billings

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. - Goldie Hawn

Many training programs and often schools focus on just a skill or a kind of work competency. That's only half the equation. - Gerald Chertavian

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world. - Thomas Jefferson

Half the world is composed of those who have something to say but can't; the other half is of those who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert Frost

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Only in Las Vegas

Sailing Duck

Redneck Stairs

Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example