A Man Named Fred

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

They do certainly give very strange, and newfangled, names to diseases. - Plato

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I met so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names. - Paris Hilton

Murdered by a traitor and a coward whose name is not worthy to appear here. - Jesse James

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

To trust agents, hyperlinks are the twenty-first-century equivalent of the name-dropper. - Chris Brogan

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Play for the name on the front of the shirt and they'll remember the name on the back. - Unknown

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen