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A Man Named Fred
So many degrees and so few last names
Does this Dingaling ring a bell?
A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”
“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”
“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”
The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”
“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”
“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”
The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Formerly: A guy whose name was once Lee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Peace - that was the other name for home. - Kathleen Norris
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Stubbornness should have been my middle name. - Martin Luther
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name. - Milton Berle
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
Passion and prejudice govern the world, only under the name of reason. - John Wesley
It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin
Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did, backwards and on high heels. - Unknown
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt
You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown
"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where And Who. - Rudyard Kipling
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Formerly: A guy whose name was once Lee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Peace - that was the other name for home. - Kathleen Norris
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
Stubbornness should have been my middle name. - Martin Luther
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name. - Milton Berle
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
Passion and prejudice govern the world, only under the name of reason. - John Wesley
It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton
Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler
If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin
Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did, backwards and on high heels. - Unknown
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt
You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown
"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman
No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where And Who. - Rudyard Kipling
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
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