Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
A Man Named Fred
So many degrees and so few last names
Does this Dingaling ring a bell?
A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”
“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”
“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”
The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”
“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”
“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”
The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Formerly: A guy whose name was once Lee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal
To her, the name of father was another name for love. - Fanny Fern
Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. - Leonard Bernstein
The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
I remember your name perfectly; but I just can't think of your face. - William A Spooner
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
I get called all these horrible names by Lindsey Graham, who I don't even know. - Donald Trump
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen
Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
Formerly: A guy whose name was once Lee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain
The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal
To her, the name of father was another name for love. - Fanny Fern
Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain
You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard
Music can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. - Leonard Bernstein
The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot
Cavity: Empty space ready to be stuffed with dentist's bills. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
I remember your name perfectly; but I just can't think of your face. - William A Spooner
We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
I get called all these horrible names by Lindsey Graham, who I don't even know. - Donald Trump
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen
Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker
I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Sometimes, giving up your privacy is a little like going to the dentist and we have let him have access that no one's ever had. - Tom Petty
You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell
I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen
Deer Hunter Tattoo
Nope, Didn't See A Thing
Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up
Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids
Re-Ewes Me
It's A Keeper
Plankstanders
Millionaire Women
Laptop Cooler
Scan Scam
Motorcycle Taxi
I've Got Time
Clangeroo
Redneck Cooler
Instead Of Flowers
Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side
I Love Summer
Karma Towing
Salmon-chanted Evening
Hands On Tree
Fart Facts
New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens
Down Under Bat
Muffler Hanger