Does this Dingaling ring a bell?
A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. So he asks the man his name.
“Fred,” he replies.
“Fred what?” the officer asks.
“Just Fred,” the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”
The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”
“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”
“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”
“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”
The officer walked away in tears, laughing...
Warren: Good name for a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
Peace - that was the other name for home. - Kathleen Norris
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
To her, the name of father was another name for love. - Fanny Fern
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp
The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano
You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart
When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. - Mark Twain
In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy
Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight
A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel
A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. - Rodney Dangerfield
Proper names are poetry in the raw. Like all poetry they are untranslatable. - W H Auden
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf
Perfection is my motto. Percentage is my middle name. Walk alone and wait for no man. - Unknown
To the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name knowledge. - Ambrose Bierce
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey
A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie
Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time. A long time. - Obi Wan Kenobi
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman