#1 humor site on the 'net

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

You'd have to be really weir'd to want to jump into that dropoff

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

I need Vitamin SEA. - Unknown

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Beach Erosion: A case of bad tidings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there is a sea there are pirates. - Greek Proverb

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. - English Proverb

I have always had the sea as my playground. - Alexander D. Oen

Quicksand: Beach where motor races are held - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Ampersand: Sand you won't find at a beach - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Time is like the ocean, always there, always different. - Ogden Nash

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? - George Carlin

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

The magic of Hawaii comes from the stillness, the sea, the stars. - Joanne Harris

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

If you don't become the ocean you'll be seasick every day. - Leonard Cohen

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships. - Zora N Hurston

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Let me be an ocean and let me kiss you as many times as the ocean kisses the shore. - Debasish Mridha

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

All great calamities on land and sea have been traced to inspectors who did not inspect. - Kin Hubbard

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

The sun always comes up. Spring always comes after winter. The river always reaches the ocean. Always. - Maxime Lagace

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

I don't trust the ocean, either; it would kill me as soon as not. It doesn't mean I'm afraid of it. - Maggie Stiefvater

My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of the missing drop. - Mother Teresa

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm. - William Cowper

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. - Mohandas Gandhi

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


Vatican Chess

Egg Tester

Equal Rights Church

Bring me Solo and the Wookie

Monongahela River

Hockey Rivalry: Vancouver Canucks vs. Calgary Flames

Extreme Skateboarding

Dentist Drill

Rabbit Boost

Potting Pot

Devil's Food Rose Cake

Computer Memory Family

Tearable Puns

Baby Hatching

Free Paper

Welcome to New Zealand

Squeegee Clothing

Stay!

Ice Bird

Black Plague II

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Perfectly In Tune With Nature

Lawn Time Awakening

Flatulent Cow