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Secret For A Long, Happy Life

Learning to deal with stress

A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step. “I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?”

“I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all.”

Secret For A Long, Happy Life thanks to Henry Archibald

A lifetime of whiskey

“This is absolutely amazing at your age!” says the passer-by. “How old are you?”

“Twenty four.”

QuotaBills
Life is puzzle unsolved. - Santosh Kalwar

No one is happy all his life long. - Euripides

Our whole life is solving puzzles. - Erno Rubik

Expect nothing and life will be velvet. - Lisa Gardiner

If you want to serve an age, betray it. - Brendan Kennelly

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. - John Gardner

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out. - Rascal Flatts

A student of life considers the world a classroom. - Harvey Mackay

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

The imagination is the secret and marrow of civilization. - Henry Ward Beecher

Life is too short to be living somebody else's dream. - Hugh Hefner

It frightens me, the awful truth, of how sweet life can be. - Bob Dylan

Paragorically, I will not let you ever talk about our sex life. - Archie Bunker

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way. - Christopher Morley

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed. - Sid Caesar

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. - William James

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

To tend, unfailingly, unflinchingly, towards a goal, is the secret of success. - Anna Pavlova

When life hands you a lemon, say, "Oh year, I like lemons, what else ya got?" - Henry Rollins

During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk. - Soren Kierkegaard

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. - Ferris Bueller

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

The greatest mistake we humans make in our relationships: we listen half, understand quarter, think zero, and react double. - Unknown

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance,
Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. - Ogden Nash

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

Life is like a library owned by the author. In it are a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give. - Bertrand Russell

It's life, isn't it? You plow ahead and make a hit. And you plow on and someone passes you. Then someone passes them. Time levels. - Katharine Hepburn

We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmoil of life; we receive counsels and comforts we get under no other condition. - Amelia Barr

What kind of man would live a life without daring? Is life so sweet that we should criticize men that seek adventure? Is there a better way to die? - Charles Lindbergh


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