Redneck Funeral

All who have died are equal. - Comanche Proverb

Death can hide but not divide. - Vance Havner

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

I want to die young at an advanced age. - Max Lerner

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

He that lives upon hope will die fasting. - Benjamin Franklin

Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. - Ilona Andrews

It is not death but dying which is terrible. - Henry Fielding

If you like to seek revenge, dig a grave for two. - Jewish Proverb

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

If you're afraid to die, you will not be able to live. - James Baldwin

Dream as you will live forever; live as you will die today. - Unknown

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. - Emiliano Zapata

Kind words will never die - neither will they buy groceries. - Bill Nye

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. - Eartha Kitt

We know the road to freedom has always been stalked by death. - Angela Davis

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

If Roosevelt were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave. - Samuel Goldwyn

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left. - Robert Byrne

Praise follows truth afar off, and only overtakes her at the grave. - James R Lowell

He who is anxious for the death of another has a long rope to pull. - French Proverb

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - The Princess Bride

Can grave and formal pass for wise,
When Men the solemn Owl despise? - Benjamin Franklin

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. - Fulton J. Sheen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

Santanism: The belief that when you die, your soul gets stuck in the chimney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Many people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five. - Benjamin Franklin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

It's a blessing to die for a cause, because you can so easily die for nothing. - Andrew Young

The grave's a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace. - Andrew Marvell

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. - William Shakespeare

When I die I want my tombstone to offer free WiFi, just so people will visit more often. - Unknown

So what if someone wrote your obituary... that doesn't mean you are obligated to die. - Lou Holtz

Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. - William Saroyan

For us humans, everything is permanent - until it changes, as we are immortal until we die. - Malcolm Muggeridge

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been. - Robert H. Schuller

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

I got well by talking. Death could not get a word in edgewise, grew discouraged, and traveled on. - Louise Erdrich

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Just have one more try - it's dead easy to die. It's the keeping-on-living that's hard. - Robert W. Service

The immature man wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mature man wants to live humanely for one. - Wilheim Stekel

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen

There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can't do any business from there. - Colonel Harland Sanders

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. - Oscar Wilde

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Melbourne is the kind of town that really makes you consider the question, "Is there life after death?" - Bette Midler

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Bill Watterson

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent. - Buddha

If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success. - Stephen Covey

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. - George Burns

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli