Newfie Riding Lawn Mower

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Diligence is the mother of good fortune. - Benjamin Disraeli

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. - Roseanne Barr

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Inner silence is the mother of all talents. - Ravi Shankar

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate. - Unknown

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother. - Unknown

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me. - Antonio Villaraigosa

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was. - Lisa Leslie

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. - James E Faust

Grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading, but becoming more concentrated. - Paulette Alden

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. - Abraham Lincoln

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. - Linda Wooten

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten