#1 humor site on the 'net

Negotiations Texas Style

Texas solves the Middle East Peace Process impasse

Negotiations Texas Style thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

How y'all settle things in Texas

President George W. Bush, center, discusses the Middle East peace process with Prime Minister Ariel Sharon of Israel, left, and Prime Minister of the Palestinian National Authority Mahmoud Abbas in Aqaba, Jordan, June 4, 2003
QuotaBills
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. - Steven Wright

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

We will not have peace by afterthought. - Norman Cousins

There never was a good war or a bad peace. - Benjamin Franklin

What we need is Star Peace and not Star Wars. - Mikhail Gorbachev

The highest peace is the peace between opposites. - Leonid Brezhnev

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

My peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. - John 14:27

Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by. - Maria Schell

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. - Unknown

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace. - Dalai Lama

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

Real Peace is always unshakable... Bliss is unchanged by gain or loss. - Yogi Bhajan

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Dr Donne's verses are like the peace of God - they pass all understanding. - James I

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. - Dag Hammarskjold

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. - Dalai Lama

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Until we extend the circle of our compassion to all living things, we will not ourselves find peace. - Albert Schweitzer

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

Nothing is more precious for our people than peace, but it is not something that can be achieved if we simply crave and beg for it. - Kim Jong-Un

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Nature is one of the most underutilized treasures in life. It has the power to unburden hearts and reconnect to that inner place of peace. - Janice Anderson

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. - Francis of Assisi

Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming. - John Wooden


Water Taxi

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Bach To Front

Japanese Diving Platform

Radar Replacement

Customers Wanted

How To Burn Fat

Cuban Cuisine

FishSun - Touching The Sun

Trampoline Apartment

Slamming On Your Brakes

UFO Caught On Tape

His Dent

Attentive Student

The Great Depression

Divorce Defined

Paint Ladder

Spanish Restrooms

First Computer Cursor

Arsenic Wafers

Car Surgeon

Rust-ic Truck

Aisle Cleanup

Camouflage Garage