#1 humor site on the 'net

Muslim Licence

Entering a veil of secrecy

Muslim Licence thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

He who becomes a Muslim does so in his own interest. - Abu Bakr

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like. - Bertrand Russell

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

'Jihad' can mean holy war to extremists, but it means struggle to the average Muslim. - Feisal Abdul Rauf

Life as pool table,
White is focus,
Others, targets.
Stick is your driving force! - Stricketer

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Religions cannot change you. If you are angry, you will become an angry Muslim or Hindu. If you are righteous, you will become a righteous Christian or Jew. - Gary Zukav

The word 'Islam' means 'peace.' The word 'Muslim' means 'one who surrenders to God.' But the press makes us seem like haters. - Muhammad Ali

There is no sign saying 'good Muslim' or 'bad Muslim.' How many lives will be lost or destroyed trying to determine who is good or who is bad? - Pauline Hanson

Allah's the Arabic term for God. Stand up for God, fight for God, work for God and do the right thing, and go the right way, things will end up in your corner. - Muhammad Ali

When we went into World War II, I was a tractor driver then. I drove tractors on the plantation. So when they start calling people my age, 18, up, I was one they called. - B.B. King

Western countries in particular can today no longer be separated from Muslim societies, because they have them within themselves. They are themselves internally globalized. - Ulrich Beck

If I hadn't become a golfer, I doubt I'd be wealthy, because I don't have the sort of ego that drives a person all day long. I might have wound up driving a tractor. - Fuzzy Zoeller

And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. - Unknown

If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. - Winston Churchill

You are in the driver's seat of your life and can point your life down any road you want to travel. You can go as fast or as slow as you want to go ... and you can change the road you're on at any time. - Jinger Heath

I remember flying in, driving down 101 in a cab, and passing by all these tech companies like Yahoo! I remember thinking, 'Maybe someday we'll build a company. This probably isn't it, but one day we will.' - Mark Zuckerberg

We who don't want radical Islam to spread must compete with the agents of radical Islam. I want to see what would happen if Christians, feminists and Enlightenment thinkers were to start proselytizing in the Muslim community. - Ayaan Hirsi Ali

If you find yourself plagued by a recurrent worry, train yourself to think of something else. Your conscious mind can concentrate on only one thought at a time, and driving the negativity away will free you up to move forward again. - Harvey Mackay

We certainly love the Muslim people. But that is not the faith of this country. And that is not the religion that built this nation. The people of the Christian faith and the Jewish faith are the ones who built America, and it is not Islam. - Franklin Graham

This paranoid Islam, which blames outsider, 'infidels', for all the ills of Muslim societies, and whose proposed remedy is the closing of those societies to the rival project of modernity, is presently the fastest growing version of Islam in the world. - Salman Rushdie

'Halal in the Family' will expose a broad audience to some of the realities of being Muslim in America. By using satire, we will encourage people to reconsider their assumptions about Muslims, while providing a balm to those experiencing anti-Muslim bias. - Aasif Mandvi

I'm a firm believer in God himself, but that's as far as I can go. I'm not any denomination. I'm not Catholic or Presbyterian or Baptist or Methodist or Jewish or Muslim. I'm none of those things. And I'm sure that's just fine with God. - Ray Charles

A Muslim fanatic and a Christian fanatic, a Jewish fanatic, a secular fanatic, an atheist fanatic, a communist fanatic - all of them are the same. The thinking that, 'If you don't think like me, that if you are not with me, then you are against me;' this is something to condemn. - Marjane Satrapi


Martini Shirt

Mal Nutrition

Stowaway Soccer Fan

Watch Out For Slugger

Canada Frigate

Shimmy Car-nage

Texas Cow Cleaner

DogWood

The Floater

How We Played Online Before The Internet

Sports Hernias

Redneck Power Windows

Star Wars Howl

Leaning Bookshelves

Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work

Dad Sandwich

Months Apart

Swing Dad

Dadspiration

Daddy, Can I Ride It?

Leaf Surgery

No Wheeler

Dad's Ex-Ferrari

Privileged Corvette Parking