#1 humor site on the 'net

Mouse Christmas Ornament

Why leave mice on the floor - fling em' on your tree!

Mouse Christmas Ornament thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
It's a trap! - Admiral Ackbar

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Don't grow up - it's a trap! - Unknown

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

That picture with Lon Chaney - "Of Mouse And Men." - Archie Bunker

There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself. - Raymond Chandler

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Before you build a better mousetrap, it helps to know if there are any mice out there. - Mortimer B Zuckerman

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Do not trap yourself into an owl's hooting sound
Where sad nights linger through the blackness of a hound - Munia Khan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. - Ryan Reynolds

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car