#1 humor site on the 'net

Milking Time On The Farm

Waiting For Hand-Outs

Milking Time On The Farm thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. - Oliver Herford

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut


Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There