#1 humor site on the 'net

Milk of Amnesia

For those who can't remember CRAP

Milk of Amnesia thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. - Charlie Chaplin

I am not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain. - Carol Leifer

Sarcasm - because beating the crap out of people is illegal. - Unknown

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

We live in a world where amnesia is the most wished-for state. When did history become a bad word? - John Guare

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. - C S Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Where we always start is: What's the user's itch? What's their pain point that occurs frequently enough to build a habit around? - Nir Eyal

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car