How To Improve Your Car's Radio Reception

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A satellite has no conscience. - Edward R Murrow

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Television proves that sight has a definite odor. - Gerald F Lieberman

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

It's very nearly impossible to tell the truth in television. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. - Dave Barry

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

I chose the Egyptian dream: the dream to make a TV show, and then be called an infidel by the end. - Bassem Youssef

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

What brought me into the TV business is what keeps me here and happy. You can learn something new every day if you have a really positive attitude. - Katie Couric

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

I could never have imagined that firing 67 people on national television would actually make me more popular, especially with the younger generation. - Donald Trump