How Fast Were They Going?

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

When you're riding lead, don't spit. - Unknown

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy. - Von Clausewitz

I am not a speed reader.
I am a speed understander. - Isaac Asimov

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Life may begin at 30, but it doesn't get real interesting until about 150. - Unknown

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Long runs improve your endurance but shorter intervals improve your speed. They are mutually beneficial for a distance runner. - Eliud Kipchoge

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com