#1 humor site on the 'net

How A Dishwasher Really Works

Behind-the-scenes dog efficiently licks dirty dishes - for a fraction of the normal price!

How A Dishwasher Really Works thanks to Lesley Mercado

QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Homemade dishes drive one from home. - Thomas Hood

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. - Margaret C Banning

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good. - Abe Lemons

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up. - Groucho Marx

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage

A Balanced Diet

Bowen Arrow

Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year