Hospital Gown Insurance
Why ICU is an acronym for Hospital Gowns
Q: How is a Hospital Gown like insurance?
A: You're never covered as much as you think you are.
QuotaBillsMedicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Hollywood is an asylum run by the inmates. - Laurence Stallings
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett
Misuse of "Literally" makes me figuratively insane. - Unknown
A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets
A murderer is one who is presumed to be innocent until proven insane. - Unknown
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell
You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault