Home Alone Pets

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

We hold these semi-animal meetings. - Archie Bunker

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

Often, the human animal dresses terror in rage, and expresses both in a way unlike either. - Julius Lester

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. - Homer Simpson

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison