Golf Potty Putter

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump