Five Stages of a Female's Life

Wrong no man and write no woman. - Elbert Hubbard

Dull women have immaculate homes. - Unknown

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

So much work, so few women to do it. - Unknown

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

There's a great woman behind every idiot. - John Lennon

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman, but no angel. - Doris Lessing

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. - French Proverb

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. - Stuart Turner

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. - Trevor Noah

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

There's something about a woman with a loud mind that sits in silence, smiling, knowing she can crush you with the truth. - R G Moon

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

I believe there's an Almighty, and I believe the Almighty's great gift to each man and woman in this world is the desire to be free. - George W Bush

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren