Five Stages of a Female's Life

Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

Trim Figures: What women do when they tell their age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. - Unknown

Women would not be prostitutes if it were not for men. - Baroness Vickers

Chaos: Three women discussing the two sides of an issue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. - Marcel Achard

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

Market: 1. Three women and a goose; 2. What teachers do to homework. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. - French Proverb

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse. - Laurence Sterne

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit. - Oscar Wilde

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

Conscientious Woman: One who never breaks a confidence without first imposing the strictest secrecy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren