Five Stages of a Female's Life

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. - Kathy Lette

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

When the devil finds a lazy woman, he puts her to work. - Russian Proverb

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. - Kathy Lette

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

The woman who can create her own job is the one who will win fame and fortune. - Amelia Earhart

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression. - C S Lewis

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner