Five Stages of a Female's Life

Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. - Sean Connery

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise. - Unknown

A meal without cheese is like a beautiful woman who lacks an eye. - Jean A Brillat-Savarin

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

My vigour, vitality, and cheek repel me. I am the kind of woman I would run from. - Nancy Astor

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform. - Diane Mariechild

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

Every man and woman is born into the world to do something unique and distinctive, and if he or she does not do it, it will never be done. - Benjamin E. Mays

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren