#1 humor site on the 'net

Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy

Making a speck-tacle of himself

How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?   Matthew 7:4
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out Of Your Eye' Guy thanks to Jonathan Falk

QuotaBills
Religion: a great perhaps. - Francois Rabelais

All truth is God's truth. - John Calvin

God is not really silent, we are deaf. - Teresa of Avila

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

I drank the silence of God from a spring in the woods. - Georg Trakl

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Where hope would otherwise become hopelessness, it becomes faith. - Robert Brault

You can hear the footsteps of God when silence reigns in the mind. - Sathya S Baba

If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. - William Hazlitt

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. - Genesis 1:31

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. - Mark Twain

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness. - Mark Twain

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - Holy Bible

The first time I sang in the Church choir, two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

Nothing honors God more than a Big Dream that is way beyond our ability to accomplish. - Mark Batterson

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. - Indian Proverb

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

An author in his book must be like God in the universe: present everywhere and visible nowhere. - Gustave Flaubert

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - Bible

As Man alone, Jesus could not have saved us; As God alone, He would not; Made flesh, He could and did. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity. - C S Lewis

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

Stay positive in every situation and everything you do; never stop trying. Have faith, don't stop due to failure. - Anurag P Ray

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Enjoy every minute of every day. I never do anything with a feeling of, 'Oh God, I've got to do this today.' - Richard Branson

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. - Unknown

Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone. - Ravi Zacharias


Mexican School Bus

Tree Sorrow

OCD Electrician

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Redneck Shower Head

Wise Moves

Fox Hunting Madness

Emperor Penguins

The Side Effects of Veganism

Stair Railing Electrician

Cold Faucet

Make Womb For Baby

Hardtail Bike

Birth Control Kit

Come-Back Line Of The Year

Duck Gears

Chewing Gum Hazard

Keyboard Seating

Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi