Diverse Women Drivers

Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause. - Unknown

I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle. - Bob Varsha

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright