#1 humor site on the 'net

Burnt Offering

Breaker, Breaker - Where Are You?

Burnt Offering thanks to Rick Lansink

Tracking down an elusive electrical fault

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. - H L Mencken

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? - Bob Hope

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line. - Elvis Presley

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The Sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus. - Alexander Graham Bell

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Once in seven years I burn all my sermons; for it is a shame if I cannot write better sermons now than I did seven years ago. - John Wesley

I have never seen anyone burn a flag. And if I did, it would take every ounce of restraint I had not to haul off and hit them. - Barack Obama

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Glamour Training

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

Tooth Ferry

Snail On The Run

Quarantine Response

Mistake Variations

Wood Not Be Safe

Junkyard Art

Advice for the Cat

Life Is Like Photography

Baptised Trespassers

European Men - History Timeline

Raxe

Male Multitasker

Fork In The Road

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Goat Trick

Genuine Fake Watches

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Edible Pet Clothing