7 Dwarfs of Menopause

I am an optimistic lady. - Julie Andrews

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. - William Shakespeare

Menopause. A pause while you reconsider men. - Margaret Atwood

Make fun of menopause - laugh your flash off! - Kathy Cagney

A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on. - Fred Allen

To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. - Wilson Mizner

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

Menopause: you have to laugh or you'll end up crying. - Missa Says

Menopause in progress: go around and do not make eye contact. - Unknown

I became a feminist as an alternative to becoming a masochist. - Sally Kempton

A lady of a 'certain age', which means Certainly aged. - Lord Byron

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

It's called MENOPAUSE for a reason... MEN should PAUSE before they speak! - Unknown

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. - Margaret Thatcher

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho. - Unknown

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid. - Jane Austen

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. - Dorothy Parker

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Tolerance is the worst roar of all, including tolerance for homosexuals, feminists, and religions that don't follow Christ. - Josh McDowell

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

If you are really Master of your Fate,
It shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. - Ogden Nash

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor